This is a boring episode of my life in which I get exposed to the tightest and roughest conditions ever.. somehow I survived all the shit -this is till now- and survived with no effort of my side.. Something like your innate immunity that makes a percent of patients survive without medications ..
Now I'm enjoying my first long holiday and hoping for any thing that prevent me from going there again..
What a tough psychological burden i have to deal with every day with all those people complaining and crying for you to take care of them while you have nothing to do..
However I can't stop thinking about the future and how it can be something good and beautiful..
Oh my God i wish I can blink my eyes and find myself free with minimal requirements to start up a new life and personal success away from those motherfuckers..
fuck wars ,fuck instability ,fuck poverty and fuck all those who recklessly take control over our lives and futures..
Anyway .. I'm here to talk and dream about future I wish for myself since I realized that nobody is more important to me than me and my family. Fuck anybody else.
It may be one day when you make up the money or joy you missed over your passed year, hope it's near day cause this hope may keep you alive when everybody around you is cumming on your present
Think with me you may be financially distressed these days but you may end up with a good position with six figures a year salary, cheer up buddy this is not far.
I don't stop thinking about all the good things that happened to me in 2015 .. for example in jan 25 this year I received my first L word ever from a lady who is not my mother..
This year I made up my best friend ever and i hope this friendship lasts forever..
God, I love people who I love and I wish if there is better conditions to tighten our relationships together like free people do.
One day I'll be old and white haired like my father and may wish for the old days to come back like what I did few weeks ago when I prayed for the shitty days I used to to come back over the new shit I hadn't use to yet. I may be confused about what is right and what is wrong but there is something I'm pretty sure about, time doesn't run backward and you will not stop regretting things you did and things you didn't do.
So, for everything I wish and everything I hate I should always be calm and prepare to the time it's over. It's coming soon or later, I wish it comes in peace and now body gets hurt.
Also I should remember that whatever I go through and feel bad for is a segment of my life time and I don't have a lot of control over it. and I should prepare to the time I be my own boss.
So, .. 2015, with all hopeful songs I heard in you, with all motivations ,all ideas ,all dreams ,all love, all hate ,all gross, all loss of control and all suppression, you are just a year and not a year that makes my life good or bad, it's what I did and what i didn't do. Leave us with all peace could be.
PS:If one of the previous lines doesn't fit your case this may me talking to myself.